last

supersunday flew past just like that, and thanks alot hulin for hosting us and having all the fun. itz refreshing to see so many of us back in one place.. swimming.. sauna-ing, watching matches and bumming.. had fun. thanks alot..

then again, the weekend hadnt been as perfect as i hoped it would be.

itz definitely great to be having fun and all, but yet amidst all the fun.. itz hard not to see the way ppl have changed and started to exhibit new behaviour. some of those ive known for pretty long. and sometimes, they seemed to haf a complete change of heart, change of mind. And the subtleties of human nature is such that you will never know what their true intentions are or what is running through their heads when they behave the way they do.

but whatever the case, i guess its just pricking to know see how quickly human evolve. Ppl are no longer who they once were. i have no illusions abt that.

if theres one problem that has been plaguing mankind for ages, itz that we never seem to be able to crawl out of emotional issues.

i think itz much too tiring to like someone or just care for someone, and invest feelings into anykind of friendship, more so for those who do so in silence. i see so many of them slipping away, and somehow i cant do anything about it.. and it just hurts that you arent valued the same way you once were. but i gotta put on a facade of being non-plussed.. i jus keep doing that dont i?

ironically, after the weekend, i just told myself to place mental blocks on the people whom i used to care for.. for friends turned strangers, or those who are just slipping away. itz not that i dont care anymore. somewhere, somehow i still do care, just that itz always the ppl whom u invested the most in who will hurt the most. and the worst thing of all is, ive to act like i dont give a damn. itz tiring to do so. As i told teo, i value reciprocity, and anything for me has to be two-way.

and so, all my unexpressed feelings of appreciation would just haf to be brutally suppressed, known only to myself. many a time, i wanted to say stuff to ppl.. that wld really encapsulate my thoughts. but i guess that wld hardly matter to them right?

i dunno why i choose to do that.. but i guess this morning, on the way to school, though the lack of sleep was pervasive, i think it was with unparalled sobriety that i saw how the equation has shifted, such that ive been factored out.

ive always relied on rational thought, this has been my proudest weapon, but itz also my heaviest burden. Implicity, i perceive and rationalise the way people behave, and it is just wearing me down. how do you go about doing your own routine when the signs are so glaring that you are just..out? that ur frens haf had a change of mind?

and qt frankly, im not even in a position to worry about that. while taking stock of where i stand exactly, i realise that im not in a very good shape to be handling such issues. for one, im no longer acting from a position of strength.

i need to rid myself of distractions, which includes blogging abt what goes on in my life like anyone would be interested to know like that..

i need a hiatus. an indefinite break to get myself back onto my feet. so this is it then..

this is the long goodbye. there is nothing left to say

inexorably

action speaks louder than words. itz funny how the simplest colloquial phrases can resonate so well at times.

today sucked somehow. apart from mingrens antics, the day was pretty much a black friday, coz i keep thinking over certain things in my head. sometimes, itz hard to understand the subtleties of human actions. but if theres anything that works for me, i trust my gut alot.

and today i made a revelation that for all my unquestioning allegiance, ive been blind to see that the ground has shifted beneath my feet. clearly, where i stand is not encased in rock. and definitely, loyalties have switched. and i find that im exorably moving in a direction that i do not particularly like, but ive no choice because all my life ive hated to play second fiddle. so this time will not be different.

and it was only not so long ago that ive had a few conversations that made me feel that i really do haf great people around me, or for some itz juz the knowledge that ive such fantastic beings arnd. i might haf misinterpreted actions, but the subtle undercurrents have been plain to see, at least for me to see.

loyalties haf shifted. and therefore mine must too, with it the central figure(s) in my life. not that itz been pleasant to do it, but today has been the straw that broke the camels back. sometimes the best way to safeguard oneself is to deliberately destroy bridges and enlarge the gulf.

and while im at my table writing this. i wonder if i cld be at someplace else right now. but im not meant anywhere else tonight, evidently. but the nightsky is comforting.

i will be okay. how can i not be.. when itz so much easier to put on a mask of happiness when deep inside, i dont feel good at all. but i will be fine. the stinging aftertaste of having ur trust and loyalty misplaced doesnt go gently into the night. it lingers but pretense has always been something i picked up over the years. and thus i will smile

1. My uncle once said: having triplets means one of them will have to be stupid due to probability

2. Never in my life have I: felt the weight of the future, & pent-up emotions.. things ive always wanted to say but I just cant coz it just doesn’t seem right and I don’t think i can say it to him/her without destroying anything

3. The one person who can drive me nuts: conceited people or those who can look right at you and lie

4. High School is/was: Raffles Institution.. which brings back so many fond memories

5. When I'm nervous: I cant think

6. The last time I cried was: I dont cry pretty often, just that I get really down

7. If I were to get married RIGHT NOW my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: marriage is so irrelevant right now.. haha

8. My hair is: butchered

9. My feet are: warts infested. Six of them, so im scarred for life

10. When I was 5: I mutilated my sis Barbie dolls. And I found out all the legs had ball and socket joins and looked like chicken legs

11. Last Christmas: I was tossing grapes into my mouth and averaging four hits every five throws. Cool right?

12. When I turn my head left, I see: a window

13. When I turn my head right, I see: my laptop with mp3 playing

14. When I look down I see: my feet.. okay lets not talk about feet

15. The craziest recent event was: mimicking scary movie 4 in class

16. By this time next year: i want to be able to look back with no regrets

17. I have a hard time understanding: how peoples mind works, and what people actually really feel and think

18. One time at a family gathering: i turned my lil cousin upside down and shook him holding his ankles

19. You know I "like" you if: i spend time with you outside of school doing stuff, but hold back sometimes. I sometimes act like I don’t care, when I do a lot.

20. If I won an award, the first persons I'd thank is: my mom, whose been so supportive

21. Take my advice: read the poem Invictus. You are the only master of your fate

22. My ideal breakfast is: juice, bacon, eggs sunny side up

23. If you visit my hometown: please don’t.. itz freaking hot

24. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: Italy

25. Boys are: one hell of a part of my life

26. I'd stop my wedding if: I realise im not marrying the one I love

27. The world could do without: people who are stumbling blocks to others.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: keep one as a pet. Believe me, I tried b4 and itz hard to do it.

29. Most recent thing you've bought yourself : new slippers

30. Most recent thing someone else bought you: souvenirs from UK from addie

31. My favorite time of day is: morning.. I get affected by the weather. so i like the day to be bright

32. My favorite store is: sports stores, or juz stores that can window shop. Someday.. I wanna own my very own suit from e. zegna

33. My favorite ringtone is: nothing too loud

34. And by the way, please hold on: I needed change a music track

35. The last time I was high: when I watched SM 4

36. The person whom I last talked to told me to: rui, for telling him to stop talking rubbish when he started yakking abt his funeral

37. I shouldnt have been: watching too many live scores.. itz depressing when venus died.

38. Last night: I was having a quiet night by myself

39. Theres this girl I know who: can hit flat groundstrokes and NOT grunt

40. There is this guy I know who: can be really cute but doesnt act that way usually

41. A better name for me would be: WEI. Short and sweet. Okay not sweet but itz still short.

42. If I ever go back to school I'll: clobber some eyesores

43. My birthday is: 24th March. Which is eons ago.

third of july

the past week has been filled with alot of sporting news.. happy news in fact =)

first of all.. rafael nadal is still into the second week of wimbledon. which is kinda unbelievable, but itz good news anyway. France beat Brazil! which is another surprise. and Michael Schumacher juz led ferrari into a 1-2 finish at indianapolis. and of course annika sorenstam shd probably win the US Open.

but of course.. here comes the cruncher: Super Sunday in 6 days. wimbledon finals and wc finals.. hoping it wld be federer-nadal and germany-france. haha.. we will see. but definitely not germany-portugal >.<

and of course, last night was just entertaining. teo can be pretty amusing. talked alot of stuff. and of course.. i had to revisit a previous mark. 7.2 now from 5.5.. thats damn good. teo shd be a happy boi. oh..and dont 4get, if all else fails, i get to spread what i said i wld okay?

my legs are dead

milk run 2006 today had a massive turnout. rui and i met addie at the clarke quay station to go to the zouk carpark which was the assembly point. the place was hidden behind the grand copthorne so it was pretty hard to see. thankfully a nice lady gave us a ride there.

we arrived early so we went to the grand copthorne arcade to sit down and chat while we waited for a call to tell us where to collect our number plates and go to the baggage point. so we juz talked and talked till it got pretty late. so we called the person instead, and to our horrors, the mens competitive run already flagged off. but addie was still in time for the womens competitive. so she had to go off while rui and i went for the community run, where half the world joins in. but that race was already flagging off soon, so we juz scrambled to collect new number plates and ran to the start line.

it was a shitload of people out there. but we started somewhere in the middle of the pack. haha.. saw yiiwen and may there. but they were like so far beside us that all we cld do was wave.

they finally got it started and we juz ran through the clarke quay and all. it was pretty cool to see a part along the river that i diden get to see. i thot the race was pretty well set up, all along the route there were water points. though i diden enjoy the tunnel run. i felt claustrophic for some weird reason. the sudden change from bright sunlight to dimness juz had me running blind for a while. so juz chionged through into the light again.

man.. the sun was pretty hot but managed to finish the run within the top 10. but it was non-competitive.. so no prizes for that. and guess what.. addie came in third in the womens competitive!! cool right. haha.. the top prize for the lucky draw was a motorola v3x.. so guess the 3rd prize for race wldnt be too bad. 3rd position.. now thats something =)

thot that the race went pretty well.. juz that we diden get the run we were supposed to get. the lady i/c felt pretty bad.. coz she said rui and i came in pretty fast but too bad we werent in the mens competitive. but oh well.. it felt good to run.

after that.. refreshements were at zouk. but we skipped that and went to heeren for dinner. after that juz went window shopping.. and right now my legs are dead tired. the swimming-tennis-running combination is more draining than i had thought... so no exercise tmr. itz time to rest my legs.

and anw.. thanks for the left-handed knight in amour and malt whiskey fudge, addie! theyre great

cts are over!

cts are finally over, and guess ive been doing the things i pretty much wanted to do.. such as watching tv and exercising. its funny how i can be so excited over the end of cts, but when the day finally comes.. it just gets greeted with a flat acceptance.

but yesterday and today haf been pretty much physical. yesterday i went to swim, and coincidentally, daphne and i were on the same train again. haha.. talk abt coincidence.

so today i went to aloys place for morning tennis, along with the tennis kakis.. like hulin, reuben and rui. man its great to start hitting balls again. though the most spectacular shot of the day still came from aloysius, who killed off a point by reeling of a half-volley from a difficult angle. haha.. i was sitting out in that set, but the ball juz clipped the sidelines and spun away.. no wonder they say still waters run deep.

after that we had lunch at the cafeteria b4 heading upstairs. played mahjong, and everyone won once, except rui who won twice. so guess itz fair. and we found a real porno book in aloys bookcase. itz karma sutra or sth. french version.. with graphic displays. makes for a good read for aspiring practicers of the art of stimulation.

speaking of which.. i juz watched scary movie 4. itz damn funny, but theres totally no plot. juz dumb humour. and there was this scene tht the guy ingested too much viagra, and started to get really big down there, and somehow he committed suicide. which dident make much sense but looked real funny.

ok.. itz been qt tiring. and theres a ton of gp to do. one compre two essays or something. probably start tmr. after the milk run. which means ive gotta run 8km tmr through the city. sounds like fun, doesnt it?

i finally plucked up enough courage to seek help in removing the layer of skin on my left footsole that has off-late been given me a shitload of pain.

it appeared since a year and a half ago, but i cldnt really be bothered coz i thot it wld juz go away but it dident. but recently, theres a throbbing pain at night and right now, my shoes dont really give that much support. since my nike air is like almost deflated, and i havent broken into my new pair.

and it feels better to walk on now. haha..

and seeing that i was rather bored this afternoon, i did an online jung psychometric test. and it dident show much.. I was fluctuating at borderline at 20% for I/E, N/S, and F/T. until the last part when i got 89% for J. so i guess that means im rather judgemental right?

yeah fits the bill somewhat. i haf this tendency to form strong opinions abt people which usually takes alot to change. and first impressions really play a major role for me. which cld be rather prophetic.

okay.. im not making alot of sense here. but heres a happy fathers day to all dads. coz coincidentally, itz the 100th day of my grandmas death... so theres a traditional thing which i haf to go for in the morning. but in any case.. got my dad a shirt from raoul.

and now.. itz time to start winding down, or itz gonna be another fitful night..

yesterday was teos birthday.. but i 4got to update. so Happy 18th to you teo! =)


nothing really eventful happened since my last post, except maybe the band concert which i dident even go for till the end. looks like im not fated to hear jermyn play his sax.. and of course a little shopping which includes a pair of adidas cyclones and topman stuff. and was qt surprised to run into daphne on the train ytd. lazy bum.. woke up so late. 0.O

but on a more solemn note.. itz saddening to hear that my classmate just lost his cousin.. always sad to see someone whos our age juz pass on. and itz like what.. the third bereavemen in our class already.. but take it easy trev.

while mugging at home, i managed to complete jeffrey deavers The Twelfth Card, and im planning to start looking at the french book i borrowed. can feel the french slipping away. yeah.. and right now is Roland Garros, so itz a good time to brush up again.

anw.. heres a list of songs i wld dearly love to haf... of which i was so close to obtaining three of them last night from nana. whose connection inexplicably broke off halfway -_-

so heres the list:

Where’d You Go- Fort Minor
Almost-Bowling for Soup
Whats left of me- Nick Lachey
Hips don’t lie- Shakira
Girl next door- Saving Jane
Stick wit u – Pussycat Dolls
For you I will- Teddy Geiger
Just the girl- The Click Five
I’ll be- Edwin McCain


any help will be much appreciated =)

was religiously following roland garros. and sadly, my efforts in front of the computer came to naught. the two players i was supporting both crashed out. namely hingis in two sets to clijsters and venus in three to vaidisova. the womens draw isnt that interesting now, save for a potential clash between HH and clijsters. so i shall juz turn my attention to the mens draw, a possible 1-2 showdown.

haha, still cant help but feel so listless after roland garros. sometimes i obsess over the smallest of things. silly of me huh..

think that the studying stint at home is really getting to me. for one theres really qt alot to look at..

and the GSS is on. mebbe i will juz go down one of these days to see if theres any good bargains.

received a pleasant msg from overseas last night while i was abt to sleep. haha.. 12 midnight. but glad that the hols are at least fun for some.

for me, i haf alot to catch up on. and the thing abt mugging for ct is that theres so much stuff to study for. meanwhile, i shall go catch some tennis action on the rolandgarros website.

on the ferry home.. the wind was damn strong

the view from the boat

ms koh

ri geps

last day

rui and guanghao fooling arnd

p3s

our p4s and p5s

the kids and the sculpted balloons